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soul words

poetry & musings of the heart, mind & soul. 

in fullness.

4/2/2022

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in fullness : soul poem

Picture
in fullness.


whatever you choose to do -
do it fully.
be present with where you are,
be present with who you are with.
gather yourself and breathe fully into the moment -
release the need to be anywhere
other than where you currently are.


release the need to know where you will be
in the moments to come.
be here now.
be in the now.
be present with yourself.
breathe.


learn discernment of place and action
through living in tune with you own alignment.
step away from living for others
in the sense that you are trying to please -
please them only when it pleases you -
not for the sake of self fulfilment
but for the sake of being fully present.


learn the art of letting go
of needing to be in two places at once.
find the truth in your heart
as it speaks to you so clearly
what is sacred and important to you…
listen for the answers - they are there.


let go of what you think you know of yourself
and come to know yourself new.
you are not the same person
you were last year.
you are not the same person
you were last month.
you are not the same person
you were last week.
you are not the same person
you were two days ago.


you have changed.
shifted.
evolved.
grown into new phases of knowing
and more dimensions of the unknown.
chemicals internally and externally
are being altered
with each interaction
you have with nature
and with those who come to nurture you.
you are not static.
not stagnant.


do not fall for the fools game of complacency.
there is eternal growth to be had -
infinite expansion of all aspects of being.
do not tether yourself to one idea over the other -
both can exist at once -
there is no either/or -
only no/and.
only yes/and.
only my hand as it reaches for yours -
stretched fingers
across the parallels of time.


turn inwards and learn who you are
in the simple presence of you.
turn outwards and learn who you are
in the complex presence of all of eternity.
shift your gaze
from the floor
up to the grand picture
that plays as the clouds shift
and form patterns
meant to still the mind.


be kind.
to yourself.
be kind.
to all else.
whatever you choose to do.
do it fully.
all else is only half way there.
and who wants to be half
when we can choose to be whole. ​
in_fullness.m4a
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quantum leap

3/2/2022

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quantum leap : soul poem

Picture
predictability is sodden
with the mundane.
mud drips from the boots
whose feet inside
walked through the storms
of what it means
to show up
in the full humanity
of individual existence.


we exist alongside
one another
as well as because of
one another.


every aspect of who we are
is deeply influenced
by those who
touch our hearts
and see our souls.


all responses are born
from a place
at the centre of our being.
reactions come from the surface
but responses are
woven deeply
within our dna.


dreams swirl
between worlds
that hold truth
for the psyche to see -


relevant consequences
are always an option
for surrendering
to a new way of being.


if we can see
the flame of fire
in the eyes
of those who we stand before -
we can feel deeply
in the pulsing hearts
of love that reaches
beyond a currently
perceived notion.


when we uncloak ourselves
from the recessed places
of hiding -
we may become surprised
at the immense potential
for love to exist
beyond limits
and in allotments
unmeasurable
in the quantum’s of math.


infinite.
eternal.
as dark as
the night sky
when the moon
is new.
as deep as
the ocean waters
when the tides
are high.
as beautiful as
utopia
in the minds eye.


these words
come to greet me
and offer a lesson
in learning to expand
beyond any constraints
of what has held me back.
an opportunity
to lift my own oppression
from the tight hold
around my neck.


i have chocked myself
for as long as i can remember -
i have stifled the energies
of what it means to live
alive in the creative centre
of my very existence.
i have swallowed the lies
of society
and chosen to turn a blind eye
to the desires
that lie dormant awaiting
self permission
for full activation.
and here i sit now -
here i lay now -
here i stand now -
too many feelings
to express in words -
too many potentials
to carry in one hand -
too many
and always just enough.


just as there is always enough
love
to be present for all -
in similarity
there is always enough
joy
to be expressed
in ways that ignite
change
and catalyze
the alchemy of my soul. ​
quantum_leap.m4a
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love & prayers

2/2/2022

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love & prayers : soul poem

Picture
stop casting your net wide
before you have truly learned
to hold yourself within your own weave.


hold your heart so tenderly
that all who pass by your sphere of energy
will want to do the same.


release your need
for power outside of yourself
and seek only to know
exactly what makes you tick
and tock -
but no like a clock
that simply passes time -
like a metronome
that counts the cycles
of what it means to live in rhythm
with the simplicity of your humanity.


pull back the reigns
on that horse you have galloped upon
looking for love
that comes from somewhere externally.


you dear heart,
dear soul,
dear sister,
dear human being,
belong to yourself
and hold the capacity
to love yourself
so deeply
that it becomes first nature
to know what truly
makes you feel good
in each moment
you exist on this earth.


release your need for freedom
from outside of yourself
and come to know
the liberated being
that came into this world
hell bent
and heaven sent
to drop beauty
and divinity
into the grand mix of existence.
this is not to say
we do not still work towards
freedom in the outside world
but simply that we turn our mission
inwards first and foremost
so that what we seek externally
is primarily known internally.
we cannot change the outer atmosphere
if we do not first change the inner workings
of our body, minds & soul.


let go of the desperation -
the urgency -
the need to control -
we cannot use the same tools
of the oppressor
to free ourselves
from the cavities of oppression.


we are collectively birthing
a new world into being -
a new earth into seeing -
a visionary shifting of realities -
a bridging of dualities -
a merging of common ground -
a resonant sound
of harmony
as the humming
and strumming
of hearts strings
and spirit songs bring
the new and the sacred ancient into focus.


we can practice these new ways of being
in every moment
of every day.
each relation
is an opportunity for elevation
of the human evolution -
this is the revolution.
one sacred relation at a time.
one open heart at a time.
one unobstructed mind at a time.
one awakened soul at a time.
this is our time.
this is the time.
this time.
it will change.
it will.
we have the collective will
combined with the collective spirit
of transformation.


prayers and ritual
hold us in the most trying of times
and now is a time to try
holding prayers and ritual
as a daily practice of being human  -
as a daily practice of human being.


love & prayers from the inside out.
love & prayers from the inside in.
love & prayers from the outside in.
love & prayers.
love.
prayers.


i love me.
i love you.
i love.
love.
&.
prayers. ​
love___prayers.m4a
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love yourself fiercely

1/2/2022

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love yourself fiercely : soul poem

Picture
love yourself fiercely.




love yourself so fiercely
that even the moon cries
tears of joy
when it looks upon you -
dancing beneath the light
it casts into the night.


love yourself so fiercely
the stars write songs
with your name penned
into the ‘i love you’s’
as they twinkle and shine
above your head
as you spin
to the ecstasy
of your own bliss.


love yourself so fiercely
that the only thing
you ever miss
is your soul
in those moments
you lose touch
with the breath of life
that lives within your heart. ​

love_yourself_fiercely.m4a
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light seeps in

1/2/2022

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light seeps in : soul poem

Picture
light seeps in.


light seeps in
as dreams
fall forward
into the now.
love exists
because we are.
truth prevails
because we care.
sometimes
we have to
let something go
to make space
for something new.
sometimes the light
ignites a fire
in the heart
and sometimes
the wind fans
the flames
of transformation
so we can burn
that which is ready
to shift form.
light seeps in
from all angles
and changes
all that it touches.
there is much
to witness
in these times.
the external world
mirrors the internal
as we choose
each step we take.
we can make
what we will
out of the ingredients
of the universe.
the stars speak
as they dance
and the moon
enhances
all that it touches.
light seeps in.
can you feel it
in your bones
and in your homes
and in all the corners
of your soul?​

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expansive freedom

30/1/2022

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expansive freedom : soul poem

Picture
expansive freedom.


i drop into the knowing of me
by releasing the knowing of you.


i hold all in a simple and profound
embrace that ties no-one and nothing
to anything other than themselves
and the love the binds us all
as we weave our stories
together and under and over
and around the layers of existence.


i hear the sound of expansion
as hearts drop into themselves
and effortlessly beat in unison
with the pulse of the universe.


dreams become undone
and reworked as beauty and grace
find their way into the crevices
of unchecked and unmarked
places within the human spirit.


rather than quitting
we stay tuned to the harmony
of what it means to commit
to oneself and to life itself.


we come alive in the presence
of one another
and continue to make room
for all that is to come.


breath in and then out -
shifting realities as air enters lungs
and veins move blood
blessed with the sweet nectars of life.


honey drips from the branches
and lips find themselves
reaching towards others
who share in the quest for being
in ways that give way
to the practical desires of the heart.


we shift and move -
we dance and weave -
we strip ourselves bare




as the trees bask in the glory
of who we are in the wild form of humanity.


we recognize the connections
between one and two and two and three -
and we see how we are not separate from nature
but rather completely intertwined
just like our hands as our fingers
find comfort in the way they fit
as we loosen our grip
and create space
for the infinite grace
of lovers in a time
of complex change.


we rearrange the constructs of our minds
so we may see beyond
the conditioned ways
that have kept us tethered
to lives that no longer make sense.


there is immense liberation
when we can immerse ourselves
in the joy of opening
to that which is beyond our comprehension.


did i mention…
expansive freedom is who i am -
it is me in the entirety of my awakened soul.
it is the gold that glows
from behind my eyes
as i learn the wise ways
of days gone past
and days to come.
presently present -
i walk into what it means to be.
expansive freedom.
this is me. ​
expansive_freedom.m4a
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true reciprocity

29/1/2022

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true reciprocity : soul poem

Picture
true reciprocity.

​i spoke of true reciprocity

and then she tells me
she has been ruminating
on this notion
and is curious
as to what it means to me.


true reciprocity,
to me,
is about
the allowance of being.
it’s about seeing
everything at once
yet not trying
to discover
what it all means
before the body mind and soul
are ready to receive.


in essence
there cannot be
reciprocity
without the true.
the true is added
simply for effect
because
there is no reciprocity
that is not so true.


reciprocity happens
without having the mind involved.
it’s the breathing in and out
and back in again
without a thought
of what one is doing
for the other.
yet
there is a part of us
in those moments of breathing
that knows to appreciate
the three parts of the whole.
in.
pause.
out.




pause.
in.
pause.
out.
pause.
reciprocity
knows nothing of keeping score.
it simply just is.
there is give and take
and no-one
or nothing
is minding a tally
to make sure all
is even and fair -
because reciprocity
is about trusting
that all will
arrive time and again
to a place of equitable
harmony.


there is a balance
of needs getting met
and truths being spoken
and words being taken
as seriously
as the souls
that occupy this body.
with a grain of sand
and a pinch of salt -
we hold ourselves
accountable
for the ways our tongues
bring magic to the world.


true reciprocity
is the trees
dropping their leaves
to nourish the earth.
it’s the sap that flows
because it knows
we humans
love to taste
the sweet syrup
as we fortify
ourselves
for the times ahead.


if in the mind
it is ever hard to comprehend -
simply look to the natural world
that surrounds you -
the natural world
that abounds within you -
and it will be easy to see
how you and me
flow together
like the streams and rivers
flow into the ocean and lakes.
there is a balance
of holding on
and letting go -
a knowing
of hearts beating
with some sort of unison
with the very centre
of the earth.
it is death
and it is birth.
it is all
and none
wrapped up
in one.
true_reciprocity_.m4a
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most epic poem of 2021

31/12/2021

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Picture
light seeps in
as dreams
fall forward
into the now.
love yourself so fiercely
that even the moon cries
tears of joy
when it looks upon you -
dancing beneath the light
it casts into the night.
where does the sun go
when it no longer knows
whose hands hold it
in it’s place in the sky.
we are knee deep in a spiritual crisis.
he asks me
if i’ve had
long term relations.
i’m sorry
for the way
this world is.
i spoke of true reciprocity
and then she tells me
she has been ruminating
on this notion
and is curious
as to what it means to me.
i spare no-one around me
the comfort of living an “ordinary” life.
7 minutes to midnight
eve of the leo full moon
coyotes howl
a familial
familiar cacophony
of the wild calls of nature.
i drop into the knowing of me
by releasing the knowing of you.
stop casting your net wide
before you have truly learned
to hold yourself within your own weave.
you do realize right
that the human experience
is not about fighting?
whatever you choose to do -
do it fully.
every year approximately 7 million people worldwide die
from air pollution related illness & disease.
some people are terrible spellers of this language of english.
we are in the midst of a massive collective baptism
so to speak.
she says to get over it.
not sorry to say
we no longer live in a
“get over it” world.
sometimes it’s the very thing
that we believe to be our lifeline
that is actually the very thing destroying us.
the spirit of humanity reaches
deep into my being
as i stand
hands submerged
in the soapy waters of rose
and kitchen debris -
eyes on the treed horizon
as the sky turns
soft shades of petaled pink.
big cat energy
stalking what once was
stealthing for what is to be
moving silently
on the paws of digression

flashing eyesscanning the horizon
limitless potential
for change
and a world
in constant rearrange.
make no mistake.
when you and i
merge our bodies
to become for a moment in time
united as one -
our essences will mix
and all the opening
that is happening for one
will want to happen for both -
all of the awareness
that exists in one
will want to be the awareness of two.
this has been said a thousand time already
by a thousand different souls
who are neither more or less qualified than me to speak this truth.
she said that someone
told her friend
that orange & red
were not as spiritual
as purple and pink.
we have been force fed
a narrative
that money equals freedom.
i’m tired.
how is it
i wonder
at 4:17am
have i so many times
been relegated
into the position
of the other woman?
shattered.

there is an emptiness insidethat i keep trying to fill
but it doesn’t want to be filled.
there is no true neutral.
we set ourselves up to stay stuck
when we claim to know
how we will feel
in a future situation.
it’s never about loyalty to someone else.
whenever there is a hierarchy at play,
whether spoken of or not -
a space of inequality is created.
why push away
when we could pull in instead.
i cannot fully understand
if dealing with the feelings
that arise from not being included
is just something i never learned
or if perhaps the need to exclude
is a shadow side of humanity
that i am being asked to witness
from the perspective
of the one being excluded
so that i may bring this human trait
to the surface of conscious awareness
so it may be transformed
by the acknowledgement
of how much pain and suffering is created
when one person or one group
or a whole society
chooses to close the doors
on another person or a group
or a whole society.
diamond fire
blaze through my heart
light the dark corners
and the nearly missed crevices
that hold all the secrets
of what it means to be me.
as the rains fall from the sky
and tears drip from my eyes
i feel love slipping away -
loosening it’s grip on my heart.
she assured me
with no doubt in her mind
that not all who cross my path
will know what it means
to love without conditions -
to love without restrictions.
it’s a new moon in aries.
where does the world go
when we try to hide
from our own realities.
today if i were to take
all the advice i like
to doll out
i would say to myself:
“trust when they tell
you deserve more” -
because you do.
until this day -
i was under the impression
that womanizing
was an act of consciousness.
social arsonist -
you will burn yourself
just as much as you burn all else.
how does one
feel such disgust
for the same person
they so recently
trusted with their whole heart.
when an option exists
for forgiveness -
i am not one
to carry hurt
in my heart.
i choose to release
the need to feel
as though the way
people treat me
is a personal affront.
i don’t need fix this
i don’t need to react
i just need to hear them.
in matters of the heart
the only thing worth avoiding
is avoidance itself.
starting on a fresh page,
no lines in sight -
most of us still adhere
to the western rule of left to right.
sometimes liberation
strikes the heart
like a sword of truth
from the very belly
of the earth.
why did you put me on a throne
just to later knock me off?
fuck you for fucking with my heart.
the other woman,
no, he assures me
i am nothing of the sorts -
fully integrated part of the equation.
i thought that if i dated
someone who was friends with my family -
someone who i had known for half my life -
i would be immune to the
“fuck ‘em & chuck ‘em” syndrome
that is so prevalent
in our relational culture these days.
empty the sky
of your tears
dear child.
allow yourself to touch the freedom you know lives in your heart -
the freedom that gives you permission to love even amidst the pain -
to keep your heart wide open even when the shadows scream for it to remain closed.
violet voice of transcendence.
you see me as spiritual.
i asked myself to expand
and his hands
reached for mine
and her hands
became outstretched
on the limbs
of her sacred existence.
as we walk our hearts back to the centre of the earth -
we bring compassion
to the birth place of humanity.
the trees.
you cannot take my light.
moths to a flame.
words without follow through
are empty.
i did not come here to be wrapped in criticism.
have i ever let myself be fully loved?
if i am to claim anything as my own,
i will claim my sacredness.
awareness equals healing.
what does self love have to do with it?
i will be an example of the world
i want to live in.
dear full moon in aquarius,
on this eve,
into this fire,
into these waters,

upon this earth,with the spirit of the land energetically enveloped around me -
i release any and all barriers and/or restrictions
that are hindering any personal fulfilment
of deep and fulfilling community connections,
partnerships of all kinds,
& nourishing relationships based in reciprocity.
i’ve given my love,
the care of my heart
to too many people
who have not known
what to do with it,
who to be with it,
how to care for it.
i want you to know
how beautiful i think you are.
i see your soul shining through
all the expressions
that show up on your face.
unrush yourself.
for me,
sovereignty is being ok with being alone.
i have zero desire to “go into space”
as i am already fully aware
of the magnificence of this human experience
here on earth.
when stardust settles
heart and mind find congruency.
it is only when i forget my connection with nature
that i feel alone,
for how could feel alone
when the trees reach for me
and brush my skin gently
with the tendrils of their arms,
and when they shade me from the sun
on the hottest of days,
asking nothing more from me
than the presence of my being.
anytime i am making a choice
to do something that is out of alignment
with my values,
ultimately,
in that moment,
i am betraying myself.
salt of my sweat
mixes
with salt of my tears
mixes
with salt of the ocean.
stay soft
and
respect the thorn.
if we really knew how much pain
lives inside each one of us,
if we could remember the struggles
that humans encounter in life,
if we could acknowledge our own
and each others suffering
in real ways
and in ways that honour the experience
of that expression of pain
maybe then we could learn to love
our neighbours -
hug our kin that we don’t yet know as kin,
see beyond what some deem sins
and witness each other
as complex creatures
who have all been made
a mess in our societal structures
of racism
and classism
and sexism
and ablism
and capitalism -
these infectious dis-eases of the mind
constantly in effect to manipulate humankind.




*this poem is compilation of the beginning of all the poems i typed onto
my computer this year!















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stay soft

30/8/2021

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Picture
stay soft
and
respect the thorn.
learn the velvet
touch of the petal
and
the pierce
of the prick.
heart beams
and
bloodshed
co-exist
just as love
and
pain
remain
constants
in our human
being-ness.
hold the ones
you love
with tenderness
and
great care -
yet let them go
with the same ease
of a breeze
the stirs
the night air.
one can let go
and still be with -
renowned love
glistens with liberation
for the unity
to be true.
profound love
drips freedom
and lets
all parties
exist in the truth
of being untethered
to a roof -
for a roof
holds the love in
while an open top
lets it expand
and touch
the spirit of all matter.
perhaps true love
is simply
the constant act
of letting go -
and
of not knowing -
and
of allowing
the growing
to take place
as it is meant to.


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holding new visions

28/8/2021

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Picture
capitalism is destroying the planet.
capitalism is destroying humanity.
capitalism is destroying our spirit.


we have all been complicit in capitalism to some degree, simply from the fact that we, in “western” society have been born into the trappings of this system. we have been sold democracy disguised beneath the dirty shadows of capitalism. we have been told a a story that if we follow our “dreams” we will succeed, yet our dreams have been co-opted by the forces of the unnatural world, rather than in tune with the forces of the natural world. we have been corralled down a certain path, school, jobs, degrees, climbing the corporate ladder, scaling up of our small businesses, the mortgage, the cars, the cottage…most of us don’t even know what it is our soul wants to experience in this life. we grasp at fulfilling a narrative that isn’t even ours. do you understand what this means? it means we aren’t living our own lives. it means we haven’t written the very story we are starring in. we are reading from someone else’s script. we are flooding our minds with lies while we sidestep our own truth.


for years i have held a vision where all of us just say no to this false way of living on earth. where we come together and move beyond this system that tells us we need to rely of them for order, stability, structure and security…as if without this system we would be lost, our lives thrown into chaos, violence and crime erupting all around us. yet, when i look out into the world through these eyes of mine that have cleared enough to see a different truth, i see that the system we live “under” and within, is the very source of what i just mentioned. i see how this political system of “order and control” is creating suffering and illness, hierarchies and divide. i see how it has been put in place to keep certain people at the top and to push an agenda that certainly does not have all humans in mind, let alone the earth that we were all birthed upon. i see that there has to be another way, because this can’t be the way that we were meant to exist with each other on the planet. some people say it’s human nature to seek to control and destroy that which is placed in front of us. i whole heartedly disagree. i see human nature as kind, and peaceful, and loving, and generous. and at the same time, i see the human condition as an entirely different thing.


i believe we as humans, have been conditioned into being the power hungry, dominance seeking, ruthless forces of destruction, and this is the shadow of humanity that we are continuously witnessing play out in front of us and within us. i witness this conditioned shadow alive in me when i find myself wanting to control a situation, when i want to be right at all costs, when i act against what i know to be the core truth of my values. i also recognize the perpetual cycles of past traumatic experiences playing out with me reacting to situations in ways that create more pain and cause more hurt in the world. it pains me to know that i cause more pain in the world, and i don’t say this to get sympathy, i say this simply because it’s the truth of how i feel, and to my expressing the truth of how i feel, is what leads to my own healing, and when i engage in my own healing, i engage in the patterns of healing for the entirety of humanity, and when i engage in the patterns of healing for the entirety of humanity, i cast light into the darkness, allowing more shadows to come out to be acknowledged and healed. i speak of the pain within created by the pain and hurt i spill into the world, as a way to step more fully into my humanity and everything that exists within that, the purity of my nature mixed with the grotesque aspects of my conditioning, mixed with all the trauma, mixed with all the joy and light that lives alongside the dark stones of hardness and cold cutting reactions that i sometimes witness in myself.


capitalism has led us deep into the pitfalls of competition when i believe it to be our true nature to be cooperative and collaborative. capitalism has led us far into the death grips of greed and hoarding of resources when i believe our true to be generous and sharing. capitalism has led us down a dark and rough road of acting in extractive and exploitive ways when i believe our true nature to be naturally reciprocal beings who know the goodness that comes from giving and receiving, offering and consuming. capitalism has led us into very shallow perceptions, very shallow expectations of one another and that it means to be here on earth, when i believe our true nature  is to live deeply rich and fulfilling lives. capitalism has done it’s best to disconnect us all from the very sprit of what it means to be a human being amongst this miraculous universe and upon this extremely beautiful and magical earth, when i believe our true human nature to be so intertwined with the spirit of all things that we need not see spirit as something outside of ourselves, but instead something that is alive and well and the very core of who we are.


and so while i do truly believe that capitalism (oh and let me be clear, i am talking about colonial patriarchal capitalism, capitalism in it’s true nature is not necessarily exploitive & driven by greed and dominance and control) is destroying the planet, humanity and spirit, i also believe we are moving towards an entirely different way of being on this planet and in relation to each other and i see it as a merging of indigenous ways with a visionary way of being that is attuned to our human evolution as our awareness and consciousness continues to expand and have space for the persistence of healing. i am personally committed to acting and living in ways that hold true to this vision, while i dedicate my own life to healing, learning how to be in better reciprocal relationships with any and all, and taking great care and showing great honour to the earth that holds my feet steady and my heart in a space of love. and so it shall be. ​
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the rose has a thorn

8/11/2020

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Picture
amidst the beauty
of petals unfurling
a thorn waits patiently
down the stem
to remind us all
that you cannot
have victory
without the pain
that comes from
penetrating the heart
with the truth
as all illusions
become unveiled.


we are one step ahead
and three steps behind
where we could be
if we let
the world be
in all of it’s natural diversity.


we are one step ahead
and four steps sideways
at a time
of great upheaval.
 
are we willing to remember
what it means to surrender
to that which
seeks no hold on control
and at the same time
be reminded
that if we do not
move towards liberty
freedom & justice
for all -
all we really do
is stay trapped
in the makings
of colonial conditions
as power over
gets wielded
in the name of forward motion
towards “progress” & “developement”.


as some would say,
this late game stage
of capitalism
is nearing the point of no return -
it’s crashing & crumbling
but no-one really wants you to know this -
and barely a soul
will be able to hold
onto the way of life
we walk in today.


things are changing
slowly and quickly -
in small ways and with great vastness -
we are collectively
being asked
by forces much grander
than any kind of political system,
to move beyond this phase
of disaster making
so we can step directly
into the unknown
intricate workings of the mystery.


are you with me still?
can you let your finger
be pricked by the thorn
so your own life force
can be released
into the energies
of transformation?


can you allow yourself
the chance to wake up
to a new way being
and a new way of seeing
and a new way of imagining
a way of life
on this planet
that honours & respects
the sacredness of all existence?








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expanding

9/10/2020

2 Comments

 
Picture
“If we aren’t in love, what are we?” she asked finally.
“I’m not sure,” I said.
“You really don’t think we’re in love?”
“Time matters to love. It’s what changes everything.”
“Then what is this feeling?”
“It’s the wanting to be in love, I believe.” - excerpt from If We Aren’t In Love by Evan L. Klein


This conversation makes me wonder how many times I’ve confused the wanting to be in love, with the actuality of being in love, or even if it’s possible to want something that doesn’t already exist. I have a strong notion that whatever it is we want in the world, is already in existence, already within our grasp, if we could just find the way to open to it, to let it in. I feel that there is no difference between this concept of “being in love” and simply being love. If we are being love, in our everyday existence, how would it be possible not to be in love with all we come into contact with. Once we come to a place with being in love with life, with existence itself, then we are in love with everything.


Of course there are times when we encounter another soul with whom we experience this love towards, only to find that it’s not reciprocated. Not everyone is loving on the same levels or in the same way that we are. This doesn’t mean that our love for that person is futile or a waste of energy. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over time is that to express or experience love without it being returned or reciprocated, or even received, still builds love within myself. In this sense, the love that we send out to another person, who perhaps isn’t in a place to receive it, can have a boomerang effect, coming back to land in our own hearts again - allowing us to experience, if we will, a greater sense of self love. Mostly we end up loving another person for what they bring out in us, whether it’s a feeling of opening up, expanding or blossoming, or a reflection we see in them that shines a light on a part of ourselves that we may have ignored until that point of seeing it in them - this is an amazing gift in itself, regardless of whether the outcome of that loving feeling results in the scenario that we’ve projected into the moment.


My father once said that we don’t get to choose who we fall in love with, but we do get to choose who we spend our lives with. Therefore, I feel that we can live our lives in love with all that comes onto our path, yet we get to choose how we foster those relationships. We can love it all, and still have the choice on how we will express that love. Not all love leads to intimacy. Some love is expressed and felt from afar - where there is no chance to delve into the intimate connection that the energy of love could potentially foster - but that doesn’t mean that love itself doesn’t exist in that situation - it is ever present, regardless of any actions or inactions.


Over the last few years, I’ve done a lot of self study on the topic of relationships. One such piece of information that stands out is the idea of whether a person can fall out of being in love. Many of us have been on the giving or receiving end of this comment: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore”. An article I read ages ago, stated that the author, who is the founder of The Relationship School and creator and host of The Relationship School podcast, believes this statement to be utter bullshit. He feels that this statement is a complete cop-out of facing our own blocks around the concept of love and intimacy. In a similar vein of truth as my own around there being no difference between being “in love” and “being love” itself, this statement really only reflects our inability to hold the concept of love as something that simply exists and can change in the way it manifests over time, as far as how it makes us feel and how we react to it, depending on our own path of growth and what traumas and blockages we encounter along the way.


One thing that often comes up and is spoken alongside that first statement of “I love you but I’m not in love with your anymore” is the idea that “something is missing”. I’ve also been on the receiving end of that statement. Upon some deep inner reflection, I’ve found that the thing that is most often missing, is the willingness and ability to show up to that person in an authentic and vulnerable way - so in essence, what is missing, is the truth. What is missing is the ability to access and witness the absolute core of that other person, or perhaps the ability to access and witness the absolute core of who we are.  From my experience, usually, by the time a relationship has reached the point where this conversation arises, both people in question have slowly been shutting down and putting up walls, creating a lack of vulnerability and authenticity. It’s common and normal for this to happen as most of us carry a lot of our past experiences into the present moment and can easily confuse the fear and hurt that is born from past trauma, with what is happening in the present moment. But just because it is common and normal, doesn’t mean that we have to stay living within these detrimental cycles and patterns.


I believe people come into our lives to help teach us things about ourselves so that we can show up in the world as the most true versions of who we are beyond all of the conditioning, expectations and wounds (both big and small) that have been inflicted upon us since the time we incarnated into this human form. I’ve found that three of the most important tools to carry with me and use on a regular basis are patience, compassion and grace. Not only are these tools handy to have when relating with other people, they are also extremely handy when it comes to relating to ourselves.


I had a teacher once tell me that an easy route to self compassion was to practice compassion with others. This might seem like a backwards route to take, because we may question how we could have compassion for another before we can feel it for ourselves, but if we look at the notion that most of us are way harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else, trying to start with self compassion would be the biggest challenge.  What I have found through this practice of developing compassion for others, is that I have ignited, and over time deepened my self compassion simply by experiencing the feeling towards others. This works for me because I have a strong notion that on an energetic level, every single thing that exists in this universe is intricately connected. So, when I practice compassion for another, in essence, at the same time, I am also practicing self compassion.


Two of the people that I am closest to at this time in my life (and have been for quite some time!) have recently said things that kind of surprised me, but at the same time reaffirmed that the tools I have been working with for many years have not been used with futility. One of these people said that she feels I am the most patient person she knows. Wow, I take that as a giant compliment, and attribute it to many years of consciously choosing to walk the path of patience and understanding. One of the things that has helped me on this path is the choice to come from a place of responding, rather than reacting. This leads into the tool of grace. With choosing to use grace as a tool in my life, my understating of the importance of slowing down and accessing my true feelings in a situation, has resulted in me being much less reactive. My sister (one of the people I am closest to) and I were discussing a situation and whether the person in question would be bothered if we chose to move forward with our plan, and I said, “well, if it was me in that situation, I feel like I would be grateful that you made that choice and did that thing” and she said “well, yeah, but you are quite an exception”. I don’t know if she knows how much that touched me, for her to recognize the way that I generally respond to life in a non reactive manner really meant a lot to me. I feel it touched me in a particularly strong way because she is also one of the people in my life who reflects back to me all of the places in myself that I have yet to find compassion for. Family members are really great at this!


To loop back to the beginning, tying it all together - all of these practices and tools that I use, have helped me come to a place of experiencing love as a never ending energetic source. We cannot want to “be in love” if we are already ‘being love”. We cannot fall out of love, if we are love itself.


This post was written in April 2019...since I'm in a constant space of transformation, I'm not sure if all of these words ring true to my heart still...but they are there and I figured I'd share them!


2 Comments

unity

13/9/2020

1 Comment

 
Picture
Dear Women & Femmes of the World


We are not here to compete.
WE are are take the notion of competition and make it obsolete.


There is more than enough love to share between the hearts and souls of us all.
And this love that I speak of is standing tall in our own sense of self worth.


This love is the love we can feel when we open to the abundance of our sprits co-existing.
We are spiritual in nature, and at the same time, we have been given the opportunity; the choice to experience this life as psychical beings.
We are able to connect to the source and see that there is enough love in this universe for both you and me.
We can drop the thoughts that arise out of fear;  they are doing nothing but creating our own demise.
Drop the lies we’ve told ourselves and had battered into our minds.
Drop the idea that we must fight for the right to be loved and cherished and treated like the divine beings that we are.


We must remember, RIGHT NOW to start seeing ourselves and each other as one another.
We have all been born with the light in our hearts that is in itself true love.
WE are here to share this blessed opportunity that is so rare.
To step away from separation into true unity.


I remind you!
WE are not here to compete.
WE are here to take the notion of competition and make it obsolete.


We are here to stand…hand upon hand upon hand,
giving and receiving, in perfect balance with the universal forces of this star creation.


We are here to sit, arm in arm, in arm, in arm.
Re-framing the picture in our minds to blur the lines of yours and mine.


We are here to love with all that our hearts have to give.
To live in harmony and bliss.
I choose to seal myself to this fate with a tender kiss.
I choose to relate with sense that there is indeed enough love to go around.
I choose to stand upon this ground and feel the love that pulses forth from the Earth herself.


I choose love.
That is the choice that I have made.
I’ve laid in the sweet embrace of universal love.

poem circa 2016/2017 - felt like a good time to remember the importance of unity. 




1 Comment

ashes & birch

8/9/2020

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Picture
rising from the ashes
the birch song can be heard
on the wind as it winds its way
through leaves and trees
still standing after the fires
took their rage
and spilled it on the land.
the sound of wings overhead
as birds fly beyond the eye of the storm.
rising rising rising.
gentle overtones of melodies
amongst the living and the newly dead.
death and rebirth
will continue to flourish -
cycles never ending
only changing and shifting
and drifting down gullies
as streams and rivers
run wild over rocks and stones
and pebbles and gold.
the birch song takes hold
in the hearts of those who walk
softly and gently upon the earth -
and those too who dance fervently
and with abandon of inhibitions.
we can visit those who have gone beyond
by opening to the knowing
of all and none,
of one and all,
of energy that never leaves,
never ceases to exist.
deep drumming and thrumming
resonating beneath the dirt
below our feet -
roots tangled with the wild abandon
of the call of the soul
as it dances and dreams -
whirling and spinning -
opening to give and to receive -
unlearning to believe again. ​
0 Comments

How to Dismantle Your Inner Capitalist.

8/8/2020

1 Comment

 
Picture
​First things first, stop buying shit just for the sake of buying shit.


Get real with yourself about what you are spending your money on. Know where your dollars are going.


Begin to understand that everything you buy has it’s own story attached to it - are you willing to hear the story of whatever it is you are buying?  Or would it be more convenient to not hear the story because it might ruin your buyers high?


Imagine we all immediately ceased purchasing new items. Imagine the impact this would have on the global constructs of capitalism. Just imagine. Imagine how much more valuable everything you currently own would become, knowing that there would be no replacing it with a new item. Imagine how we would begin to move more towards fixing items, up-cycling items, re-using items. Imagine the ingenuity that would ensue.


Could we commit to a world where we weren’t always upgrading our technology, our vehicles, our wardrobes, mostly just for the fuck of it, because we can?!?


Could we give up bigger and better and faster and “more efficient”, for smaller and good enough and slower and “maybe I don’t need that”?


Imagine a life of equity, where everyone on this planet had exactly what they NEED to live a good healthy life.


We don’t all need the same things.


We probably know that by now.


We are unique beings with unique needs.


Some of us have more than we need. Some of have way less than we need. Some of us have a little bit more than we need. Some of us have almost enough of what we need. Some of us have way more than we could ever imagine needing.


Here in the north western hemisphere, we are mostly all sick with a nasty, virile dis-ease called capitalism. Perhaps capitalism is a direct result of colonialism. Perhaps colonialism is direct result of the patriarchy. Perhaps the patriarchy is a direct result of the loss of connection to spirit. Perhaps the loss of connection to spirit is a direct result of the burning, hanging, & drowning of the “witches” way back when. Perhaps cultural genocide has been perpetuated so as to eradicate anything or anyone who might stand in the way of capitalistic takeover. Perhaps or perhaps not. The history in my mind is certainly different than the history I learned in school.


One things I do know for sure - we are neck deep in a crisis of the spirit. I say neck deep because the neck is directly related to the throat. Most of us have major imbalances of the throat. We are either over-talkers, or scared shitless of speaking our mind aloud. We all have our own reasons for this common human condition of throat imbalance.


Imagine as we balanced our throats, we learned to listen better.


Imagine we started to listen to the spirit that exists in all things.


Imagine we could sit quietly and still enough to hear the murmurings of our own spirits.


Imagine that having a connection to spirit fulfilled us in ways that buying shit we don’t need ever could.


Imagine we learned to listen better.


To the trees and the streams and the earth beneath our feet.


Imagine we began to learn about the sacredness of all life.


Imagine we started to act in ways that honoured the sacredness of all life.


Imagine we lived in ways that looked beyond what the eyes can see.


Imagine we learned to truly feel again.


Imagine a human species that was no longer de-sensitized to destruction and violence.


Imagine we actually felt the suffering of our brothers, our sisters, our neighbours.


Imagine what we would do if we truly felt that suffering.


Imagine we began to act in more ways that brought relief and care and resources to our suffering brothers, sisters & neighbours, because we began to realize that when one suffers, we all suffer.


Imagine a world where we didn’t simply try to save one another, and instead took the time and care to learn what the other needs, and then we shared what we could based on their true needs, and our true ability to give.


Imagine a world where all human’s were considered gifts.


Imagine a world where all human’s gifts were of equal value and worth to the collective whole.


Imagine that time became the new currency, because at least in each day, we all have the same amount.


Imagine what you would do with your time if it became the most valuable thing you had.


Now, if you can, go do that.


Time is already the one true currency that we share.


Time is already the most valuable thing each one of us has.


Our intangible human gifts are the things that will make this world turn into a better version of itself than is currently present, if they are so freely given, as they have been given to each one of us to bring forth into this world.


Perhaps it is the gifts of our human spirit that will burn the wobbly constructs of capitalism to the ground - if we so dare use them.


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renewing vows.

30/7/2020

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Picture
pop over to the poetry book page to get yourself a copy of this entire e-book. 
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what is the purpose of ego?

1/4/2020

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what is the purpose of ego?


the ego is one of the vehicles with which we use a force to “drive”, “propel”, “move” through life.


when connected to the heart, the spirit, the body, the mind - the ego works in a balanced manner.


it is neither good nor bad.


it simply just is, in it’s natural & balanced state.


the ego serves to inspire forward movement, or movement towards one’s playing/acting out of one’s purpose.


it we were to live without ego at all, we would come to a standstill, and while some try to attain an egoless state, this is impossible in the human form.


if we try to erase a part of ourselves, we do just that - we sever a piece of us that is here and part of us as an ally, an in integral part of who we are in our wholeness.


the key with ego is to be able to come to place where the ego is balanced with the rest of our being - where it is a piece of the whole - welcome to be integrated with all the other aspects of what create the totality of our humanness.


let the ego and the heart speak to one another.


let the ego and the soul dance with one another.


let the ego and the body be kind to one another.


let the ego and the spirit play with one another.


let it be. kind. heartfelt. spirited & free. let it be. let it be. let it be.


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earth service.

31/3/2020

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sometimes i sob
as i remember by commitment
to being of service to the earth
and to humanity as a whole -
sometimes my hearts aches
with all the pain
i step into
for the collective healing of the world.
sometimes my mind widens
with thoughts of compassion and grace -
as i face all the demons that still exist within.
sometimes the verses cannot be seen -
or the songs cannot be heard,
just as the curses & the blessings cannot be explained
with words in a language
that is disconnected from the earth itself.
0 Comments

spiralling inward.

29/3/2020

0 Comments

 
i came to this life with love in my heart and deep peace in my soul. 
as things unfolded, 
i began to lose myself. 
i began to be transformed into what my family and society wanted me to be. 
i listened to them because i cared about them,
more than i cared about me. 
i gave myself away so many times - 
parts of myself being scattered into the world,
for others to hold as they saw fit. 
and then one day, 
with a heavy heart and a confused mind,
i was reminded - 
i began to remember who i came here to be - 
i began to see myself from the inside out - 
and so my journey back to myself was ignited - 
the fire of my life now burns bright.
​i am the light. 
0 Comments

death & intimacy.

27/3/2020

5 Comments

 
when you are forced to become intimate with death -
you are presented with the opportunity to open to life
on a deeper level.
a certain fear escapes you and an awareness comes in it’s place.
an awareness of what is at stake when we cease to live fully
from the true depths of our being -
courage is transferred from the dead into the living -
so we can cease to waste the gift of precious breath -
potential relationships -
dreams that are asking to be awakened.
a gift is granted in the absence of one life to the presence of another.
just as life is not something to “get over with”,
death itself is not something to get over.
death is asking to be lived
in the very spirit of every passing gust of wind -
every inhale -
every exhale -
death reveals the tender parts of ourselves
and helps us meld flesh + bones with spirit + ether.
5 Comments

sacred & holy.

27/3/2020

0 Comments

 
the world we live in is sacred & holy.
as humans, 
we have been told we are separate from the natural rhythms of the Earth. 
we have been told it is a curse to believe in that which we cannot see - 
we have been told to ignore the impulse to live with our spirits as our driving force - 
of course, i don't believe any of this to be true. 
i know that both me and you are sons & daughters of the universe - 
we are special & real and i feel that this whole deal of being human and alive
is a reminder of our own sacred existence.
yes, this world is sacred & holy - 
any and  all.
i can hear the call of spirit and soul - 
yes, this world is sacred & holy.
0 Comments

where do we go from here?

25/3/2020

0 Comments

 
where do we go from here?
into our hearts.
into the centre of our existence on earth.
into the fear.
into the face of it all. 
we find love and ease and grace. 
we find the music of our souls.
we hold truth. 
i swear when i look to the mountains,
they appear to hold their beauty with greater strength. 
i swear when i look to the trees - 
they say thank you, and please,
remember to stay connected
to the source of it all. 
0 Comments

systems.

8/3/2020

0 Comments

 
i despise the patriarchy -
all the ways this system of oppression
has seeped into the seems of my existence -
i despise the way the patriarchy
has taken the ruling view
of the way we tend to see one another
and made it so equality could not,
does not exist within this system of classes -
this system that takes colour & religion
and spins it to be what defines our humanity.
i despise the patriarchy
and all the ways it has made it
nearly impossible to live
in a just & equal world
where all have what they need
to live a life beyond strife & suffering
because of lack of access
to basic fundamental needs.
i despise the patriarchy
and the perpetual greed
it so eagerly feeds.


i love the patriarchy -
for it has shown me where
i need to get more clear
on what it is i care about -
i love the patriarchy
for the resilience it has fostered
in my quest for equality -
i love the patriarchy
for the ways it has made me grow
beyond a quiet & meek version of myself -
for the ways in which love seeped into my being
from seeing the injustice
that prevails in the wake
of this system of oppression -
i love the patriarchy
for teaching me compassion -
for i know,
deep inside my soul,
not one man in his right heart
would seek to oppress & control -
and so i learn through this
where i might not be quite right in my heart -
a chance to learn -
a lesson earned
from the willingness to see
the truth of all matters at hand.


i have no care or concern for the patriarchy -
i am neutral to this system
of oppressive worldly behaviour.
i choose to cease
the giving of my energy
in either hate or love -
and instead i stand neutral
with an inclination to forge my own way -
releasing myself more & more everyday
from the the grips
it holds on my mind -
and from the vampiric tethers to my soul -
i am neutral
and therefore cannot be held -
i untangle myself in all the ways i know how.
i feel no hate, no love -
just a side-slipping grin
that silently speaks the liberation and freedom
of a woman who has walked through the fire -
and reclaimed her wild desire.


0 Comments

writing the sacred.

4/3/2020

0 Comments

 
small voice.
truth & wisdom.
truth on scrolls of the heart.
awaken.
peace & harmony.
let your light shine.
++++++++++++++++
attune.
stay true.
heart centre.
destiny of the light.
++++++++++++++++
yes.
voice within.
inner being.
break all bonds.
beloved dwells.
awaken. 
​ray of radiant light. 
​
0 Comments

to open.

3/3/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
to all the ones who have encouraged me to open:
thank you for prying at my heart,
for the sensing that there was something in there
wanting and needing to get out.
thank you for asking the questions
that helped me open up instead of shut down.
thank you for patience as i found my voice -
often through the onslaught of tears that would
normally pour forth before the words could be formed.
thank you for caring enough about me to take the time
and the energy to see me come open.
unfolding like a flower,
ready to bloom,
yet still resisting the warmth of the sun
that awaited the arrival of the exposed inner petals -
as one and then two and then three layers
of me came to be free.
there are times when i like to be soft & gentle,
just unto myself -
feeling & thoughts that are happy
to simply float within my own being -
and then there are times I need to release
what resides inside and in those moments
i give thanks for the hands and the hearts
and the hugs that hold my emotions & me ever so tenderly.




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    morgan leigh callison

    mostly i write to remind myself what it means to be me. it is through words, my soul finds expression & my mind finds a place for form to take shape. 

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