there is A LOT of tension in the air right now. like i mean A LOT! it’s palpable in pretty much every dynamic, every relationship, every space. can you feel it? are you noticing it?

what can we do about it. that age old piece of advice that is so annoying to hear:
DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

it’s annoying because it’s so friggin hard not to take things personally, even when we know it’s not personal. it’s hard not to be emotionally affected when someone is mean or short with us or cold towards us. it’s normal to feel something when this happens…yet the quicker we can come to a place of knowing that it’s not personal, the quicker we are going to be able to move into a different energy. 

a few weeks ago when i said DON’T TAKE THE BAIT i really meant it…and not just for that moment we were experiencing…for ALL THE MOMENTS…it’s not worth it to our nervous systems to take the bait…to get caught in someone else’s ill intentioned ways or emotionally explosive tendencies. 

here i am speculating, but i have a feeling that the reason we can become so reactive with one another, is because we all so deeply crave connection that we will try anything to create a bond with another being…whether that bond is healthy or not often doesn’t matter in the moment, we just want to feel connected. arguing is connection. “debating” is connection. riling someone else’s emotions is connection. 

let’s not fool ourselves for too long though! these kinds of connections built on tension and baiting and emotional immaturity will only lead us into further pain and ultimately further away from healthy connections. 

stay grounded. regardless of where you might be, remember your connection to the earth. whether you are a city or in the country or somewhere in between, we are ALL ON THE EARTH and have access to her grounding frequency. 

keep you nervous as regulated as possible - there are so many tools, from breathing more deeply, humming, singing, listening to frequency healing music, creating art, dancing, taking a bath, going for a quiet walk, listing to the birds…i mean, really, there is endless ways to soothe and calm our nervous systems.

practice the art of listening. sometimes it’s better just not to respond. listening can be a very active way of engagement. i’m not saying to stifle your expression or hold your tongue when it’s really important to vocalize something, just be more discerning of who and what you engage with. save your expression for when you will be fully heard and received, or for when it’s something that you certainly cannot move past without saying something or standing up for yourself. all i’m saying is be discerning. 

hang out with cats…they are pro stars at moving from tension to ease & relaxation in an instant. their energy is contagious and they have many lessons to teach about boundaries and being chill and minding their own business while still engaging in their curiosities. seriously, if you are needing to learn about and practice boundaries…hang with the cat world. 

don’t take it personally and don’t take the bait. let the tension dissipate and learn to relate in kind and loving ways to your own nerves system first and foremost. and good luck out there! kindness in the face of adversity is underrated. 

Diaries of an off grid witch. 
Entry # 3
October 28, 2023


It’s been a while. At first I intended this diary to follow me through every day. But I was soon reminded that I’m generally not one to do the same thing every day. Some would call me fickle, I would call myself dynamic, and to be dynamic one must be willing to pivot the plot a plenty. 
I got a bit ill two weeks ago…a common cold the had my head pounding and my breathing less than desirable. I wasn’t inspired to write, or be creative in any manner what so ever. Just as my energy was returning and I could see the and feel the clarity returning, my moon cycle arrived and my energy plummeted again. I’ve had my moon cycle for 30 years, or approximately 390 moons…and every time I am in need of deep rest for 2-3 days. It wasn’t until about a decade ago that I got wise to my cycles and actually chose to give myself that rest when needed instead of trying to push through. I’ve fashioned my life around this cycle and have done a pretty decent job of making sure I’ve giving myself what I need at all times, but especially at this time of the moon. So suffice to say, at least a whole week passed by with mostly just hours of rest. I do believe the body will create this rest for you if it’s what you truly need and aren’t heeding the quiet call. It was hard to slow down when I had so many things to try to do in the three week period before leaving on my autumn adventure west. It was a practice in surrendering to what was, and allowing myself the grace to say, ok, there are things that I just certainly will not get done this fall, but I will do my best to get done what I actually need to! This is all to say, that writing has fallen to the wayside to a certain degree. Though there are sill poems flowing out of me, and a few prompts shared between friends that are intending to help us reflect on all the changes that have internally occurred in the last 8-10 years. And one evening dedicated to the writing circle, which is generally just me and one other woman who gather on-line (and once in person) to write together, be creative together, and allow ourself the space to express and be witnessed if we wish. So, yes, there are still words coming out, yet this diary has sat untouched by my hands, though my mind has wandered to these pages quite a few times. 


Tonight I sit in a beam of full moon light, on the wooden floor of my cabin, softly cushioned by the wool mat beneath my body. I can see the moon through the branches of the giant spruce and fir that tower around me, and a planet too that hangs to the left beneath the moon. I’m not sure what planet it is, maybe Venus, or Mars, or Saturn, truly I have no idea, but if I need to I will bet on Venus…and some research after writing this should bring me the answer. 


Arriving home to my tiny temple in the forest this evening, I am somehow thrilled by the crunchy fallen leaves that great my feet with every step I take. I gather my clothes from the line, and trundle through the path, moon light bright enough to show me the way and I step inside and see this perfect moon beam upon my floor and it feels too perfect to not sit right in and bathe in the energy of this time. And it is here, that I finally feel the urgent call of this diary, these pages that were beginning to get lonely, and I listen to the urge, because that’s what a witch does right, she listens to the universe as it calls to her and gently nudges her to what spell must be cast next. I wrote a poem last night, that I will too include here, even though I have already shared it on instagram, I feel like it belongs in more than one place. And so it will find it’s way further out into the world, and my vows will get stronger, and my dreams will become more vivid, and my hope for a better world will gain more strength. I never meant for this diary to be just for me, I have never intended my spells to kept under wraps, I write from my soul and my heart so that the world knows I am here, and that I am worthy, and deserving of space to express. Just as you too, if you are reading this, or listening to this, are to be reminded of your own worth, of your own beautiful boringness on this earth - I want us all to remember.




there are too many guns in the world, 
too many bombs, 
too many mad men with power 
at their fingertips, 
cowards who send people into places 
to fight wars 
fed by the need for more - 
fuelled by greed 
and a desire to be seen as “on the top”. 
but at what costs, 
and on the top of what?
a world that has crumbled 
to rubble and waste
after too many terrible decisions
that take no consideration for human life. 
i vow to hold tight 
the hope for world peace - 
i vow to believe in a better way 
upon this earth - 
i vow to unlearn all the violent ways 
of my own being - 
i vow to never stop seeing
the humanity in each and every soul 
who incarnates on this earth. 
i choose to recognize hate for what it truly is - a lack of love felt from within. 
i choose to perceive the destructive patterns of this world 
as something to be disrupted, 
and every time i can,
i will disrupt hate with love,
i will disrupt violence with peace, 
i will disrupt greed with generosity,
i will call for a ceasefire 
of all weapons of war - 
and i will keep dreaming of a world 
where we only ever relate 
with kindness and care. 


Good night friends, 
May you feel the warmth of love somewhere within you this eve. 
​

in fullness.


whatever you choose to do -
do it fully.
be present with where you are,
be present with who you are with.
gather yourself and breathe fully into the moment -
release the need to be anywhere
other than where you currently are.


release the need to know where you will be
in the moments to come.
be here now.
be in the now.
be present with yourself.
breathe.


learn discernment of place and action
through living in tune with you own alignment.
step away from living for others
in the sense that you are trying to please -
please them only when it pleases you -
not for the sake of self fulfilment
but for the sake of being fully present.


learn the art of letting go
of needing to be in two places at once.
find the truth in your heart
as it speaks to you so clearly
what is sacred and important to you…
listen for the answers - they are there.


let go of what you think you know of yourself
and come to know yourself new.
you are not the same person
you were last year.
you are not the same person
you were last month.
you are not the same person
you were last week.
you are not the same person
you were two days ago.


you have changed.
shifted.
evolved.
grown into new phases of knowing
and more dimensions of the unknown.
chemicals internally and externally
are being altered
with each interaction
you have with nature
and with those who come to nurture you.
you are not static.
not stagnant.


do not fall for the fools game of complacency.
there is eternal growth to be had -
infinite expansion of all aspects of being.
do not tether yourself to one idea over the other -
both can exist at once -
there is no either/or -
only no/and.
only yes/and.
only my hand as it reaches for yours -
stretched fingers
across the parallels of time.


turn inwards and learn who you are
in the simple presence of you.
turn outwards and learn who you are
in the complex presence of all of eternity.
shift your gaze
from the floor
up to the grand picture
that plays as the clouds shift
and form patterns
meant to still the mind.


be kind.
to yourself.
be kind.
to all else.
whatever you choose to do.
do it fully.
all else is only half way there.
and who wants to be half
when we can choose to be whole. ​

predictability is sodden
with the mundane.
mud drips from the boots
whose feet inside
walked through the storms
of what it means
to show up
in the full humanity
of individual existence.


we exist alongside
one another
as well as because of
one another.


every aspect of who we are
is deeply influenced
by those who
touch our hearts
and see our souls.


all responses are born
from a place
at the centre of our being.
reactions come from the surface
but responses are
woven deeply
within our dna.


dreams swirl
between worlds
that hold truth
for the psyche to see -


relevant consequences
are always an option
for surrendering
to a new way of being.


if we can see
the flame of fire
in the eyes
of those who we stand before -
we can feel deeply
in the pulsing hearts
of love that reaches
beyond a currently
perceived notion.


when we uncloak ourselves
from the recessed places
of hiding -
we may become surprised
at the immense potential
for love to exist
beyond limits
and in allotments
unmeasurable
in the quantum’s of math.


infinite.
eternal.
as dark as
the night sky
when the moon
is new.
as deep as
the ocean waters
when the tides
are high.
as beautiful as
utopia
in the minds eye.


these words
come to greet me
and offer a lesson
in learning to expand
beyond any constraints
of what has held me back.
an opportunity
to lift my own oppression
from the tight hold
around my neck.


i have chocked myself
for as long as i can remember -
i have stifled the energies
of what it means to live
alive in the creative centre
of my very existence.
i have swallowed the lies
of society
and chosen to turn a blind eye
to the desires
that lie dormant awaiting
self permission
for full activation.
and here i sit now -
here i lay now -
here i stand now -
too many feelings
to express in words -
too many potentials
to carry in one hand -
too many
and always just enough.


just as there is always enough
love
to be present for all -
in similarity
there is always enough
joy
to be expressed
in ways that ignite
change
and catalyze
the alchemy of my soul. ​

stop casting your net wide
before you have truly learned
to hold yourself within your own weave.


hold your heart so tenderly
that all who pass by your sphere of energy
will want to do the same.


release your need
for power outside of yourself
and seek only to know
exactly what makes you tick
and tock -
but no like a clock
that simply passes time -
like a metronome
that counts the cycles
of what it means to live in rhythm
with the simplicity of your humanity.


pull back the reigns
on that horse you have galloped upon
looking for love
that comes from somewhere externally.


you dear heart,
dear soul,
dear sister,
dear human being,
belong to yourself
and hold the capacity
to love yourself
so deeply
that it becomes first nature
to know what truly
makes you feel good
in each moment
you exist on this earth.


release your need for freedom
from outside of yourself
and come to know
the liberated being
that came into this world
hell bent
and heaven sent
to drop beauty
and divinity
into the grand mix of existence.
this is not to say
we do not still work towards
freedom in the outside world
but simply that we turn our mission
inwards first and foremost
so that what we seek externally
is primarily known internally.
we cannot change the outer atmosphere
if we do not first change the inner workings
of our body, minds & soul.


let go of the desperation -
the urgency -
the need to control -
we cannot use the same tools
of the oppressor
to free ourselves
from the cavities of oppression.


we are collectively birthing
a new world into being -
a new earth into seeing -
a visionary shifting of realities -
a bridging of dualities -
a merging of common ground -
a resonant sound
of harmony
as the humming
and strumming
of hearts strings
and spirit songs bring
the new and the sacred ancient into focus.


we can practice these new ways of being
in every moment
of every day.
each relation
is an opportunity for elevation
of the human evolution -
this is the revolution.
one sacred relation at a time.
one open heart at a time.
one unobstructed mind at a time.
one awakened soul at a time.
this is our time.
this is the time.
this time.
it will change.
it will.
we have the collective will
combined with the collective spirit
of transformation.


prayers and ritual
hold us in the most trying of times
and now is a time to try
holding prayers and ritual
as a daily practice of being human  -
as a daily practice of human being.


love & prayers from the inside out.
love & prayers from the inside in.
love & prayers from the outside in.
love & prayers.
love.
prayers.


i love me.
i love you.
i love.
love.
&.
prayers. ​

love yourself fiercely.




love yourself so fiercely
that even the moon cries
tears of joy
when it looks upon you -
dancing beneath the light
it casts into the night.


love yourself so fiercely
the stars write songs
with your name penned
into the ‘i love you’s’
as they twinkle and shine
above your head
as you spin
to the ecstasy
of your own bliss.


love yourself so fiercely
that the only thing
you ever miss
is your soul
in those moments
you lose touch
with the breath of life
that lives within your heart. ​

light seeps in.


light seeps in
as dreams
fall forward
into the now.
love exists
because we are.
truth prevails
because we care.
sometimes
we have to
let something go
to make space
for something new.
sometimes the light
ignites a fire
in the heart
and sometimes
the wind fans
the flames
of transformation
so we can burn
that which is ready
to shift form.
light seeps in
from all angles
and changes
all that it touches.
there is much
to witness
in these times.
the external world
mirrors the internal
as we choose
each step we take.
we can make
what we will
out of the ingredients
of the universe.
the stars speak
as they dance
and the moon
enhances
all that it touches.
light seeps in.
can you feel it
in your bones
and in your homes
and in all the corners
of your soul?​

expansive freedom.


i drop into the knowing of me
by releasing the knowing of you.


i hold all in a simple and profound
embrace that ties no-one and nothing
to anything other than themselves
and the love the binds us all
as we weave our stories
together and under and over
and around the layers of existence.


i hear the sound of expansion
as hearts drop into themselves
and effortlessly beat in unison
with the pulse of the universe.


dreams become undone
and reworked as beauty and grace
find their way into the crevices
of unchecked and unmarked
places within the human spirit.


rather than quitting
we stay tuned to the harmony
of what it means to commit
to oneself and to life itself.


we come alive in the presence
of one another
and continue to make room
for all that is to come.


breath in and then out -
shifting realities as air enters lungs
and veins move blood
blessed with the sweet nectars of life.


honey drips from the branches
and lips find themselves
reaching towards others
who share in the quest for being
in ways that give way
to the practical desires of the heart.


we shift and move -
we dance and weave -
we strip ourselves bare




as the trees bask in the glory
of who we are in the wild form of humanity.


we recognize the connections
between one and two and two and three -
and we see how we are not separate from nature
but rather completely intertwined
just like our hands as our fingers
find comfort in the way they fit
as we loosen our grip
and create space
for the infinite grace
of lovers in a time
of complex change.


we rearrange the constructs of our minds
so we may see beyond
the conditioned ways
that have kept us tethered
to lives that no longer make sense.


there is immense liberation
when we can immerse ourselves
in the joy of opening
to that which is beyond our comprehension.


did i mention…
expansive freedom is who i am -
it is me in the entirety of my awakened soul.
it is the gold that glows
from behind my eyes
as i learn the wise ways
of days gone past
and days to come.
presently present -
i walk into what it means to be.
expansive freedom.
this is me. ​

capitalism is destroying the planet.
capitalism is destroying humanity.
capitalism is destroying our spirit.


we have all been complicit in capitalism to some degree, simply from the fact that we, in “western” society have been born into the trappings of this system. we have been sold democracy disguised beneath the dirty shadows of capitalism. we have been told a a story that if we follow our “dreams” we will succeed, yet our dreams have been co-opted by the forces of the unnatural world, rather than in tune with the forces of the natural world. we have been corralled down a certain path, school, jobs, degrees, climbing the corporate ladder, scaling up of our small businesses, the mortgage, the cars, the cottage…most of us don’t even know what it is our soul wants to experience in this life. we grasp at fulfilling a narrative that isn’t even ours. do you understand what this means? it means we aren’t living our own lives. it means we haven’t written the very story we are starring in. we are reading from someone else’s script. we are flooding our minds with lies while we sidestep our own truth.


for years i have held a vision where all of us just say no to this false way of living on earth. where we come together and move beyond this system that tells us we need to rely of them for order, stability, structure and security…as if without this system we would be lost, our lives thrown into chaos, violence and crime erupting all around us. yet, when i look out into the world through these eyes of mine that have cleared enough to see a different truth, i see that the system we live “under” and within, is the very source of what i just mentioned. i see how this political system of “order and control” is creating suffering and illness, hierarchies and divide. i see how it has been put in place to keep certain people at the top and to push an agenda that certainly does not have all humans in mind, let alone the earth that we were all birthed upon. i see that there has to be another way, because this can’t be the way that we were meant to exist with each other on the planet. some people say it’s human nature to seek to control and destroy that which is placed in front of us. i whole heartedly disagree. i see human nature as kind, and peaceful, and loving, and generous. and at the same time, i see the human condition as an entirely different thing.


i believe we as humans, have been conditioned into being the power hungry, dominance seeking, ruthless forces of destruction, and this is the shadow of humanity that we are continuously witnessing play out in front of us and within us. i witness this conditioned shadow alive in me when i find myself wanting to control a situation, when i want to be right at all costs, when i act against what i know to be the core truth of my values. i also recognize the perpetual cycles of past traumatic experiences playing out with me reacting to situations in ways that create more pain and cause more hurt in the world. it pains me to know that i cause more pain in the world, and i don’t say this to get sympathy, i say this simply because it’s the truth of how i feel, and to my expressing the truth of how i feel, is what leads to my own healing, and when i engage in my own healing, i engage in the patterns of healing for the entirety of humanity, and when i engage in the patterns of healing for the entirety of humanity, i cast light into the darkness, allowing more shadows to come out to be acknowledged and healed. i speak of the pain within created by the pain and hurt i spill into the world, as a way to step more fully into my humanity and everything that exists within that, the purity of my nature mixed with the grotesque aspects of my conditioning, mixed with all the trauma, mixed with all the joy and light that lives alongside the dark stones of hardness and cold cutting reactions that i sometimes witness in myself.


capitalism has led us deep into the pitfalls of competition when i believe it to be our true nature to be cooperative and collaborative. capitalism has led us far into the death grips of greed and hoarding of resources when i believe our true to be generous and sharing. capitalism has led us down a dark and rough road of acting in extractive and exploitive ways when i believe our true nature to be naturally reciprocal beings who know the goodness that comes from giving and receiving, offering and consuming. capitalism has led us into very shallow perceptions, very shallow expectations of one another and that it means to be here on earth, when i believe our true nature  is to live deeply rich and fulfilling lives. capitalism has done it’s best to disconnect us all from the very sprit of what it means to be a human being amongst this miraculous universe and upon this extremely beautiful and magical earth, when i believe our true human nature to be so intertwined with the spirit of all things that we need not see spirit as something outside of ourselves, but instead something that is alive and well and the very core of who we are.


and so while i do truly believe that capitalism (oh and let me be clear, i am talking about colonial patriarchal capitalism, capitalism in it’s true nature is not necessarily exploitive & driven by greed and dominance and control) is destroying the planet, humanity and spirit, i also believe we are moving towards an entirely different way of being on this planet and in relation to each other and i see it as a merging of indigenous ways with a visionary way of being that is attuned to our human evolution as our awareness and consciousness continues to expand and have space for the persistence of healing. i am personally committed to acting and living in ways that hold true to this vision, while i dedicate my own life to healing, learning how to be in better reciprocal relationships with any and all, and taking great care and showing great honour to the earth that holds my feet steady and my heart in a space of love. and so it shall be. ​

rising from the ashes
the birch song can be heard
on the wind as it winds its way
through leaves and trees
still standing after the fires
took their rage
and spilled it on the land.
the sound of wings overhead
as birds fly beyond the eye of the storm.
rising rising rising.
gentle overtones of melodies
amongst the living and the newly dead.
death and rebirth
will continue to flourish -
cycles never ending
only changing and shifting
and drifting down gullies
as streams and rivers
run wild over rocks and stones
and pebbles and gold.
the birch song takes hold
in the hearts of those who walk
softly and gently upon the earth -
and those too who dance fervently
and with abandon of inhibitions.
we can visit those who have gone beyond
by opening to the knowing
of all and none,
of one and all,
of energy that never leaves,
never ceases to exist.
deep drumming and thrumming
resonating beneath the dirt
below our feet -
roots tangled with the wild abandon
of the call of the soul
as it dances and dreams -
whirling and spinning -
opening to give and to receive -
unlearning to believe again. ​

​First things first, stop buying shit just for the sake of buying shit.


Get real with yourself about what you are spending your money on. Know where your dollars are going.


Begin to understand that everything you buy has it’s own story attached to it - are you willing to hear the story of whatever it is you are buying?  Or would it be more convenient to not hear the story because it might ruin your buyers high?


Imagine we all immediately ceased purchasing new items. Imagine the impact this would have on the global constructs of capitalism. Just imagine. Imagine how much more valuable everything you currently own would become, knowing that there would be no replacing it with a new item. Imagine how we would begin to move more towards fixing items, up-cycling items, re-using items. Imagine the ingenuity that would ensue.


Could we commit to a world where we weren’t always upgrading our technology, our vehicles, our wardrobes, mostly just for the fuck of it, because we can?!?


Could we give up bigger and better and faster and “more efficient”, for smaller and good enough and slower and “maybe I don’t need that”?


Imagine a life of equity, where everyone on this planet had exactly what they NEED to live a good healthy life.


We don’t all need the same things.


We probably know that by now.


We are unique beings with unique needs.


Some of us have more than we need. Some of have way less than we need. Some of us have a little bit more than we need. Some of us have almost enough of what we need. Some of us have way more than we could ever imagine needing.


Here in the north western hemisphere, we are mostly all sick with a nasty, virile dis-ease called capitalism. Perhaps capitalism is a direct result of colonialism. Perhaps colonialism is direct result of the patriarchy. Perhaps the patriarchy is a direct result of the loss of connection to spirit. Perhaps the loss of connection to spirit is a direct result of the burning, hanging, & drowning of the “witches” way back when. Perhaps cultural genocide has been perpetuated so as to eradicate anything or anyone who might stand in the way of capitalistic takeover. Perhaps or perhaps not. The history in my mind is certainly different than the history I learned in school.


One things I do know for sure - we are neck deep in a crisis of the spirit. I say neck deep because the neck is directly related to the throat. Most of us have major imbalances of the throat. We are either over-talkers, or scared shitless of speaking our mind aloud. We all have our own reasons for this common human condition of throat imbalance.


Imagine as we balanced our throats, we learned to listen better.


Imagine we started to listen to the spirit that exists in all things.


Imagine we could sit quietly and still enough to hear the murmurings of our own spirits.


Imagine that having a connection to spirit fulfilled us in ways that buying shit we don’t need ever could.


Imagine we learned to listen better.


To the trees and the streams and the earth beneath our feet.


Imagine we began to learn about the sacredness of all life.


Imagine we started to act in ways that honoured the sacredness of all life.


Imagine we lived in ways that looked beyond what the eyes can see.


Imagine we learned to truly feel again.


Imagine a human species that was no longer de-sensitized to destruction and violence.


Imagine we actually felt the suffering of our brothers, our sisters, our neighbours.


Imagine what we would do if we truly felt that suffering.


Imagine we began to act in more ways that brought relief and care and resources to our suffering brothers, sisters & neighbours, because we began to realize that when one suffers, we all suffer.


Imagine a world where we didn’t simply try to save one another, and instead took the time and care to learn what the other needs, and then we shared what we could based on their true needs, and our true ability to give.


Imagine a world where all human’s were considered gifts.


Imagine a world where all human’s gifts were of equal value and worth to the collective whole.


Imagine that time became the new currency, because at least in each day, we all have the same amount.


Imagine what you would do with your time if it became the most valuable thing you had.


Now, if you can, go do that.


Time is already the one true currency that we share.


Time is already the most valuable thing each one of us has.


Our intangible human gifts are the things that will make this world turn into a better version of itself than is currently present, if they are so freely given, as they have been given to each one of us to bring forth into this world.


Perhaps it is the gifts of our human spirit that will burn the wobbly constructs of capitalism to the ground - if we so dare use them.

pop over to the poetry book page to get yourself a copy of this entire e-book.